Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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