Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
can u get pink eye on your cock?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
