well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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