mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize