he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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