We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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