sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
