My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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