I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
