id be glad to
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
