Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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