I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
