I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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