Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
