I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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