my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
