whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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