is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
