I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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