I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
His hands were made for my vagina.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
