Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
