i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
not ubering you a puppy
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
