im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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