Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize