I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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