whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
