she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
