he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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