how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
They have beer where we have blood.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
