I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
