I'm drive I can fine osifer
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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