He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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