At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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