did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize
