You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
