you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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