Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
