I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
