is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
