dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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