The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
