I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
well you can't waste a boner
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
