I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize