Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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