Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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