Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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