i would punch a child for taco bell
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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