you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
The air was thick with penises
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
