Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
