If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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