when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
