I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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