How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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