I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
