i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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