You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
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The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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