im gay
i know
yea but for you.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
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