I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize