i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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