careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
