I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Is her dick bigger than yours?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize