Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
