do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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