You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
